Boys and girls do mix

Milwaukee, WI • John Chianelli, the chief mental health administrator of the county, now houses same males and females in the same residential unit, claiming that the "arrangement reduces male on male violence."

Knowledge is a good thing

Miami, FL • Ken Parkerson, a free-lance photograher, recently learned not to point his video camera towards a patio of a woman who is married to a martial arts champion, and who just happened to be home at the time.

Cyber bust

Berwick, MN • Police recently made an easy arrest of people charged with burglary, as their chief suspects were each wearing GPS monitoring devices and authorities merely monitored their bracelets, and saw that the perps were making moves that exactly corresponded to the properties which were burglarized.

Being neighborly

Napervillel, IL • Brian Haley was recently charged with trespassing after being found nude in his neighbor's hot tub in their back yard.

Fair play

Fairfax, VA • Erick Williamson, who was charged with indecent exposure after a woman said she saw him naked in his home, was recently acquited, and is pursuing charges against the woman of voyeuristic tresspassing.

Federal issues

Elko, NV • Michelle Taylor was recently sentenced to life in prison for twice having a 13-year-old boy touch her breasts, sentenced by the court to the federally mandated maximum time in jail - as an adult being found guilty of sexual child endangerment - with a prosecutor admitting that Taylor got a greater sentence for the offense than if she had just killed the boy.

Biological free speech

Stockholm, Sweden • A 21-year-old boy in the Kirseberg prison recently received disciplinary action, after being convicted of protesting against jail food by pointing his bottom towards jailers and deliberately passing gas as they walked by "with harmful intent."

Raindrops keep falling on my head

Salt Lake City, UT • The state legislature recently passed a law making it legal to collect rainwater with a special permit (for a fee), but only in government approved containers under penalty of law.

Teach your children

Clayton, GA • School teacher Randy Forde, was recently fired after school officials learned he had put a "hit" on a high school junior, allegedly offering $50 to a fellow student to carry out the threat.

Obsessions

Bloomfield, CT • A man was spied on a surveillance camera stuffing 17 cans of Red Bull down his pants before fleeing.

Compelling explanations

Hawkins County, TN • Lucia Carico, a school teacher for forty years, was recently fired after stabbing a 7th grader in the arm seven times with a pen, explaining that he had been unruly by singing in class and deliberately passing gas.

Hands down weird

Upper Darby, PA • The Associated Press reported that local police recently had to delay processing Siri Pinnya, who was accused of being a child molester, because he wouldn't stop masturbating, admitting that they had only managed to fingerprint one hand.

The age of barter

Spartanburg, SC • Local contractor Billie Harrison was recently charged with indecent exposure after he approached a resident, pulled down his pants and promised he'd pave her driveway for free is she would have sex with him.

Oops

Uniontown, PA • Ron Washington was recently arrested after he went to his son's elementary school to retrieve a 1/4 pound of pot from his son's backpack.

Choosing poorly

Lake City, FL • Travis Neeley was recently charged with attempted auto theft, being caught because the car's owner used the remote control to lock him in the car until authorities arrived.

Important lessons

Warm Springs, GA • Lynn Geter was recently arrested for forcing her 12-year-old to beat to death his pet hamster with a hammer after he brought home a bad report card.

Excrementum occurrum

Perth, Australia • Bob Sessions, chairman of the Penguin Group Australia, acknowledged that the group had to reprint more than 7,000 cookbooks due to a simple typographical error, after it was noticed that a recipe called for "salt and freshly ground black people" instead of pepper.

The real truth emerges

Tehran, Iran • Hojatoleslam Sedighi, a senior Iranian cleric, recently proclaimed that promiscuous women were to blame for earthquakes by corrupting the chastity of young men and spreading adultry in society, which "increases earthquakes."

Taking a bite out of crime