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Morons on Parade
Vancouver, WA • Bethany Storro faces charges of second-degree theft after accepting $28,000 in donations after claiming a woman had splashed her with acid, then admitting to authorities that she put the drain cleaner on her own face.

Issues
Franklin, OH • Patricia Dye was recently convicted of posing as a teenage boy, cutting her hair and using male aliases so she could date teenage girls.

Morons on Parade
Watsonville, CA • Mark Smith was recently arrested after he allegedly threatened a bank teller with a note demanding $2000 with a note claiming that he had a "bom", with the teller trying to convince him to just borrow the money instead and leaving him waiting as she went to "retrieve a loan application" for him, and called 911, with the police nabbing him as he was filling out the loan application.

The family that preys together
Milford, MA • Rachelle O'Handley was recently charged with breaking and entering, larceny and assault, after disguising herself as a man so she could rob her 70-year-old grandmother of her jewelry.

To protect and serve
San Bruno, CA •
Despite the fact that jailhouse sex is illegal, sixteen condom dispensers were recently installed at the San Francisco County jail - paid for by community grants - to assist in the county's safe-sex program.

Compelling explanations
Sarasota, FL • William Black, 28, claiming that he was "overcome looking at all the hot girls in the store," was recently arrested at a Wal-Mart after he grabbed a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue off the magazine rack, retreated to another aisle and masturbated on the floor.

Puberty
Zurich • The Swiss government recently announced that it would help bring to market "extra-small" condoms for boys as young as 12 to guard against STDs.

Appearances matter
Washington, D.C. • At a rally in Washington, D.C., in July denouncing employers who hire nonunion carpenters, many of the chanting protesters were nonunion day workers hired by the carpenters' union to make the demonstration look bigger.

One shrimp short of a kabob
Maine Township, IL • Janusz Owca was arrested in August for choking his wife and was booked into jail and given his traditional phone call, and Owca called his wife and threatened to kill her.

Libido driving
Cincinnati, OH • Colondra Hamilton, 32, was recently arrested after a routine traffic stop, with officers saying they found Hamilton with her pants unbuttoned, a sex toy in her lap, and a computer playing a sex video in the passenger seat.

Balls
Beverton, OR • Mark Eskelsen, a homeless man, was recently charged with criminal trespass and improper use of 911, after he called the emergency number from the hot tub of a suburban Portland home, asking for "towels, hot chocolate and a hug."

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