Nightflying: The Entertainment Guide

American values
Chicago, IL • A chicago company has started marketing a volumizing hair shampoo and conditioner using former governor Rod Blagojevich' image for the product 'Blago: It's Bleep'n Golden'.

Taking a bite out of crime
Leon, NY • An Amish 17-year-old was recently charged with underage possession of alcohol in his horse-drawn buggy, with the AP reporting that the arrest was part of a stepped-up patrol of "police cracking down on rowdy Amish youths."

Solutions
New Dehli • A man's seven daughters recently reported that their father, in an effort to produce a son, has not bathed in 35 years, and has replaced washing and cleaning his teeth with what he calls a "fire bath": standing on one leg beside a bonfire, saying prayers to the Lord Shiva and smoking marijuana.

Morons on parade
Kansas City, MO • Albert Vincent Perkins was recently charged with bank robbery after handing a teller a bag and demanding all the $100 bills and fleeing, leaving his billfold on the counter with his driver's license inside.

Whatever daddy says…
Cheyenne, WY • 13-year-old Dena Christoffersen, who was limited to text-messaging to keep her cell-phone bill down, reported that her father smashed her cell phone to bits after he received a one-month phone bill for $4,750.

The best laid plans
Fairbanks, AK • David Ginnis, who authorities say shoved a police officer so he could go to jail with his brother who had been arrested after a fight, was sentenced to 30 days in jail, with the sentence then being suspended.

Science we can use
Rome • Italian researchers recently announced that one method of increasing penis size actually works: attaching weights up to 2 pounds to the penis for six hours a day for a six-month period actually increases the flaccid-state length to an average gain of one inch.

Homeland security
Fort Lauderdale, FL • Kenton Weaver, an autistic 13-year-old, took his father's car and drove 30 miles to the city airport, and without any identification bought a plane ticket with his father's credit card and flew to San Jose, California.

Compelling explanations
Charleston, WV • Rebecca Taylor was recently jailed for attempting to sell her 5-month-old son for $10,000 to be able to get a new apartment, telling authorities that she "was unable to bond with the child."

Teach your children
Tacoma, WA • Jennifer Rice, a former elementary school teacher, was recently convicted of having sex with a 10-year-old student and his 15-year-old brother.

Life imitates art
London • Mexican artist Raul Ortega Ayala's exhibit opened with customary hors d'oevres, and since his work specializes in the roles food plays in people's lives, the cheese being served was made from human breast milk, to "explore our first encounter with food emphasising its territoriality and boundaries."

Somewhere over the rainbow
San Diego, CA • Shreepriya Gopalan recently filed suit against Microsoft, Google, Apple, Saks Fifth Avenue, Starbucks, McDonald's, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Chase Bank, Verizon, AT & T and some 47 other companies claiming he actually owns the companies based on the Chinese divination system I Ching, which he says he invented when he was 15 years old, but that he unfortunately lacks the paperwork to document his claims.

Toys in the attic
Great Falls, MT • Remo Spencer, a Wal-Mart worker, was recently arrested and charged with stealing seven iPods and eight laptop computers from the store after offering those items for sale on the Wal-Mart employee bulletin board.

One shrimp short of a kabob
Deltona, FL • Howard Sheppard was recently hospitalized after he found some bullets on the ground and decided to experiment to see what would happen if he struck one with a metal punch, shooting himself in he arm.

Just say no
Oakton, VA • A high school student was recently suspended for two week when she accidentally brought to school her birth-control pill, filing a complaint when it was learned that the school's drug policy required only one week's suspension for bringing heroin to school.

View previous Space News.

Nightflying Publications
P.O. Box 250276
Little Rock, AR 72225
Phone: (501)354-8577
Fax: (501)354-1994
For advertising information (print or electronic), call, write or
E-mail to: info@nightflying.com.