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![[Letters to Ed.]](http://www.nightflying.com/letters2ed.gif)
Dear Ed:
It has recently come to my attention that when it comes to our
government I really don't have a clue who I can trust. This brings me
down, as I was raised to be a patriotic American and it's hard to even
fathom the notion that many of our democratically elected leaders are
not honest people. Fact is, they earn much more than normal citizens so
you'd think they'd be happy with their situation. It seems to me that
the people deserve better than this - especially those who served in
our armed services defending this country. I mean, what's this all
about?
Signed,
Dumbfounded in Detroit
Dear Dumbfounded:
You only figured this out recently? Where have you been? And why do you
think so many people run for office, especially Congress? The facts are
simple: If someone gets into Congress they have a guaranteed pension
for life worth millions, even if they're voted out after the first
term. On top of this, former members of Congress are sought out and
offered truly plushy jobs in 'private industry' due to their status and
connections they made while in office. This is frequently true in other
professions, but it's especially true for members of Congress. What's
it all about? In my opinion it is the very system itself. In this
"upwardly mobile" society folks are always looking to improve their lot
financially. This in itself is certainly no crime, but it seems to me
that when you have tasted riches you develop a yen to acquire even
more, even if you don't need it. It's a never-ending cycle. To borrow
from Will Rogers, "…a billion here and a billion there…pretty soon
you're talking about real money…" He also coined the expression:
"America has the best politicians that money can buy…" which says quite
a lot.
Signed,
Just happy to be fed Ed
Dear Ed:
Are you really some kind of expert, or do you have them fooled at the
paper? What are your credentials? And what do you look like? For that
matter, what did you want to be when you grew up? Or is this it?
Signed,
Curious in Calico Rock
Dear Curious:
Personally I don't consider myself an expert at anything. Do I have
them fooled? In the words of Sarah Palin, you betcha. For credentials I
offer the fact that I have been writing advice columns for the better
part of my life…much like Ann Landers and Dear Abby. My real
credentials seem to be that I own my own computer and am very
opinionated and have landed a great job sitting here spouting off. What
did I want to be when I grew up? I really have no plans of ever
aspiring to that lofty goal. I like being a kid and plan to stay this
way as long as possible. Truth is, my goal at times was to become an
astronaut. That obviously didn't work out so I settled for simply being
a space cadet. And what do I look like? I haven't a clue. I did once
hear my mother describe me as a cross between Woody Allen and John
Lennon, though I personally have never seen the resemblance. I think
I'm more a cross between Clark Gable and Albert Einstein, with a little
Tiny Tim thrown in for good measure. I hope I have shed some light for
you. If not, tough.
Signed,
Honest Ed
Dear Ed:
Is there really a magical Nightflying Compound? I recall certain
descriptions in this column some issues ago that I find hard to
believe, such as the notion that this establishment has enough
electronics to affect the weather for several states around. If it is
real, where exactly is it? I want to come there and experience it
first-hand. I can play music, as I guess that's one of the criteria.
Signed,
Doubter in Deleware
Dear Doubter:
Yes there really is a Nightflying Compound and yes it has an array of
electronics that can make your head swim. Whether or not this equipment
affects the weather for several states around is mere conjecture on the
part of certain operatives at NASA. They think it does so who am I to
argue with that? We are told what we can and cannot disclose due to
national security issues. More than that I cannot say. As far as our
location, that must remain secret as maintaining privacy is of the
utmost importance. Again, it's a matter of the security of our nation,
I am told, by the higher ups. To visit this compound requires an actual
invitation, which can only be extended after you, your family, all your
ex- and current lovers, all your friends and your enemies, and even
your pets have passed security clearances at the highest level of
government. Fact is, very few people are ever able to handle this. When
most folks see the criteria they tend to refuse, especially the DNA and
blood tests required to even get past the first steps of the process.
Suffice it to say that we tend to guard our own security as well, and
to be frank, we like it this way. In other words, no, you can't come
over and play.
Signed,
Alone at large Ed
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