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ARIES
(March 21-April 19)
The life you have chosen begins to become a source of deep concern to
close family and friends as the price of wool continues to plummet.
Though the life of a shepherd, espe-cially in this geographic area, may
give pause for thoughts regarding job security, you should steadfastly
bide in the field you have chosen. If push should ever comes to shove,
you can always fall back on your training as a snow-cone salesman or a
slimy two-bit grifter…
TAURUS
(April 20-May 20)
'Til the rivers all run dry, 'til the oceans no longer are salty, 'til
the stars no longer shine, Taurus will always believe what he
believes...beyond convincing, trust, logic, or pain...hence the high
number of Taureans on the member-ship roles of the Flat Earth Society…
GEMINI
(May 21-June 20)
When man was first conceived of in the innermost portals of divine
thought, Gemini sprang forth as the ideal, the model for what we now
know as humankind. Mister Doright. Mister I'm OK You're OK. The Gemini
is always there...if only to serve as the apex of human expectation…
CANCER
(June 21-July 22)
This year should hold many unusual opportunities for the Cancer who is
willing to sit up and take notice. Your opinions and expertise are held
as valuable beyond price...but, alas, only by you…
LEO
(July 23-August 22)
It's past time the Leo got a break...keep your chin up... shoot for the
moon...and, at times of confusion and low self-esteem, invoke the
ever-workable "I don't take no crap from nobody and if I'm wrong I'll
apologize later" rule. Don't de-spair...I've seen things go on like
this for months and then turn off reeaal bad…
VIRGO
(August 23-September 22)
There ain't nothin' that the Virgo can't or won't try. Unfortunately,
their success rate is far below their willing-ness quotient…
LIBRA
(September 23-October 22)
The balance, always eager to espouse his belief on right and wrong,
good and bad, black and white...the Libra never can decide on sweetened
or unsweetened, smoking or non-smoking, jalapeño or plain, et
cetera…
SCORPIO
(October 23-November 21)
Lay low; don't invest; double your insurance; store a large quantity of
food; accept no invitations; cross your fingers; beware of dogs; try
nothing new; don't blow your own horn; always travel with a clean pair
of socks…
SAGITTARIUS
(November 22-December 21)
This isn't gonna be a good year for relation-ships...your mother will
change her name (for numero-logical purposes) to Yolanda, Queen
of Iguanas and re-move you as sole beneficiary of her estate in favor
of a Prus-sian tap dancer who is the head of a small cult of Bill
"Bojangles" Robinson worshippers located outside Cleve-land, Ohio. Your
spouse will divorce you in order to become a fully-devoted Amway
salesperson and your two teenaged children will spend $2000 of their
college fund on legal ex-penses to have you legally declared a dweeb.
Shave your head ands become a Telly Savalas stand-in…
CAPRICORN
(December 22-January 19)
The Capricorn is often taken for granted. An early 19th century
political movement which proposed that all Capricorns be deported could
account for an extreme lack of self-confidence. High water weight gain
is the accepted sci-en-tific explanation for the Capricorn's need to
eat off your plate and sleep in your front yard...no improvement in
sight...
AQUARIUS
(January 20-February 18)
A glimmer of hope is all the Aquarian needs to go on. Unfortunately, he
often mistakes turn signals and caution lights for that aforementioned,
long-sought glimmer…
PISCES
(February 19-March 20)
Ah, last but not least...the yard carp of society's lawn
decorations...the Pisces, though not too smart nor too athletic, is
always willing to step in and help.... The Pisces has many
redeeming features, but the one that stands out in everyone's mind is:
you can always count on the Pisces to bring Hal-loween candy to an
Easter egg hunt…
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Nightflying
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P.O. Box 250276
Little Rock, AR 72225
Phone: (501)354-8577
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E-mail to: info@nightflying.com.
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